How to Handle Criticism – Introduction
Receiving criticism at work is never easy – especially in a second language. It can feel uncomfortable, confusing, or even upsetting. But how you respond can make a big difference to your confidence, your relationships and your future success.
This article follows on from How to Give and Receive Constructive Feedback at Work and How to Politely Give and Receive Instructions at Work. Here, we focus on what to do when feedback feels more personal – or more painful – than you expected.
If you’d like to practise workplace communication in a friendly space, join our community for professionals who need English for work.
Not All Criticism Feels Constructive
In a perfect world, feedback would always be clear, fair and polite. But in real workplaces, people sometimes give feedback that:
- Feels too direct
- Lacks context
- Comes at the wrong moment
- Sounds like a personal attack
Let’s be honest – criticism can hurt.
But that doesn’t mean you have to take it personally.
Example:
Your manager says: “You didn’t prepare properly for that meeting.”
You feel embarrassed – and maybe angry. But what they mean might simply be: “Next time, please provide more data.”
The key is learning how to pause, process the comment and respond with professionalism.
Your First Reaction Is Natural – But Not Final
It’s completely normal to feel emotional when you receive criticism.
Especially if:
- You weren’t expecting it
- You worked hard on the task
- You’re already feeling unsure about your English
- The tone feels sharp or unfriendly
But remember – feelings aren’t facts.
Before you react:
- Take a breath
- Give yourself a moment
- Try not to reply straight away, especially if you feel defensive
Useful phrase:
“Thanks for your feedback – I’ll give it some thought.”
That one sentence gives you time and shows maturity.
Focus on the Message, Not the Tone
It’s easy to focus on how something was said, rather than what was said. But sometimes, people are simply not very skilled at giving feedback.
Try to extract the useful part of the comment:
- Is there a practical suggestion?
- Is there something you could improve?
- Is it about your work, not you as a person?
Example:
“This design is a mess.” → painful!
But the real message might be: “The layout needs to be clearer.”
By focusing on the content – not the tone – you take back control.
Cultural Differences in Feedback Styles
Criticism feels different depending on where you’re from – and who you’re speaking to.
🇬🇧 British English
- Often indirect
- Uses softeners and vague phrases
“It’s not quite what I had in mind.” ( = I’m not happy with it)
“There’s room for improvement.” ( = It needs work)
🇺🇸 American English
- Often more direct and task-focused
- Less “face-saving” language
“This doesn’t meet expectations.”
“We need to make major changes.”
If you’re not used to one of these styles, it can feel harsher – or unclear. That’s why it helps to learn the local communication culture if you’re working with international teams.
What to Do After Receiving Criticism
Here’s a step-by-step strategy you can use:
✅ Step 1: Reflect
Ask yourself:
- Is this feedback valid?
- What can I learn from it?
Sometimes, the delivery is poor – but the message is useful.
✅ Step 2: Clarify (if needed)
If the comment was vague or confusing, it’s fine to ask:
“Can you give me an example so I can understand better?”
“What would a better version look like?”
These questions show you’re open to learning – not defensive.
✅ Step 3: Decide on Action
Make a plan to improve the area mentioned – or explain your reasoning if you believe the criticism is unfair (politely, of course).
Build Long-Term Resilience
Learning not to take criticism personally is a skill you can practise.
Try these tips:
- Separate yourself from your work: Mistakes don’t define your value.
- Look for patterns: If several people give the same feedback, it’s worth paying attention.
- Keep positive records: Save emails or notes where you were praised – it helps when your confidence dips.
- Use English to reflect: Journalling your thoughts in English helps you grow both emotionally and linguistically.
And remember – you’re not alone. Our community of professionals is a great place to share experiences, practise your response phrases and build confidence.
How to Handle Criticism – Final Thoughts
Criticism is a part of every job. But when you handle it with emotional intelligence and clear communication, you turn it into an opportunity.
You can’t control how others speak – but you can control how you respond.
So next time someone says, “This isn’t quite right”, don’t panic. Take a breath. Find the message. Learn what you can. Then carry on.
And if you haven’t already, read our article on How to Give and Receive Constructive Feedback at Work to help you understand the other side of the conversation too.
